Her Authentic Voice™
Hosted by Coach Tara, this podcast is a space for faith-driven women who are ready to reclaim their voices, break free from guilt and shame, and walk boldly in their God-given purpose. Each episode features powerful testimonies, raw conversations, and live storytelling from women who have found healing through their faith. Whether you’re an aspiring writer, a woman with a story to tell, or someone seeking encouragement, this podcast will inspire you to live, love, and BE authentic.
Her Authentic Voice™
Breaking Free: How Unforgiveness Silently Shapes Your Reality
When Pastor Lisa Reeves called her mother-in-law after 20 years of silence, she didn't expect the phone to drop on the other end, followed by uncontrollable weeping. This raw moment marked the beginning of a healing journey that would transform both women forever—leading not just to reconciliation, but to spiritual rebirth.
In this powerful conversation with Coach Tara, Pastor Lisa reveals how unforgiveness had become quicksand in her life, pulling her deeper into bitterness with every attempt to justify her pain. "A wounded heart filters reality," she explains, describing how unhealed trauma distorts our perception, convincing us we're safer alone or unlovable. The freedom that comes through forgiveness isn't just emotional—it's physical, relational, and spiritual restoration.
Most profound is the revelation that forgiveness doesn't always mean reconciliation. "We're good, I love you, I forgave you, but access is just limited," Pastor Lisa shares, giving listeners permission to establish healthy boundaries while still releasing the poison of resentment. This distinction liberates those who have believed forgiveness requires returning to harmful relationships.
The conversation tackles the challenging truth that many find it easier to forgive others than themselves. The daily practice of self-forgiveness becomes a spiritual discipline, requiring intentional choices to "check your armor" and guard your heart against the lies that wound has told you about yourself.
Whether you're carrying decades of pain or struggling with fresh hurts, this episode offers practical wisdom for breaking free from unforgiveness without minimizing your experience. It's an invitation to holy rebellion—choosing healing over the destructive cycles that have held you captive for too long.
Ready to experience the freedom that comes when you forgive? Listen now and take the first step toward divine alignment in your relationships, beginning with yourself.
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Thank you, hey, it's your favorite Shift your Story. Coach, coach Tara, welcome to another episode of Her Authentic Voice Podcast. Today we are discussing forgiveness, so grab your pens and your notebooks or your journals, get your favorite beverage and I will see you in about 45 seconds. Have you ever felt like your story didn't matter, that your voice wasn't enough? Here's the truth. Your story is not just yours. It's a testimony, a light, a blueprint for someone else's breakthrough. Welcome to the Her Authentic Voice podcast, where we break free from shame, step into bold faith and use our voices to inspire others. I'm your host, coach Tara, and every episode is an invitation to own your story, embrace your purpose and speak with confidence. Are you ready? Let's go higher together. Let's live love and be authentic. All right, ladies. So before I bring up my powerful, beautiful, anointed guest, pastor Lisa Reeves of New Wine Restoration Ministries, I want to drop a few nuggets on you. So I'm going to share my screen and we're going to talk about forgiveness from a coaching standpoint, behavior science standpoint, but rooted in kingdom. All right, have your pens handy. I want you to take notes tonight, not just from this, but from the nuggets that Pastor Lisa will drop. If you are familiar with her. You need a notebook and an ink pen, so don't say I didn't warn you. Make sure you subscribe, like the broadcast, tag somebody who needs to be on comment. We want you to ask questions and if you have a question, put a Q in front of it so we know that it's a question and I'll put the questions up later. But comment, join the conversation. Okay, so forgiveness, here we go.
Speaker 1:The first thing that I want to discuss with you guys is the first point is how it's wounds right. It's how a wounded heart filters reality. Many women are stuck they are, I was stuck for a long time. Many women are hurting. I was stuck for a long time. Many women are hurting. I was hurting for a long time and betrayal causes a lot of wounds and those wounds they really filter how we view reality right. So a wounded heart filters everything through that pain. That's why Proverbs says for us to guard our hearts. It says guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it flows the issues of life. So if you don't heal, your heart will keep telling. Your brain lies Like you're safer alone, no one loves you, god doesn't care. Look at all the stuff he's allowing you to go through. Everyone will hurt you. You're unlovable, you're always messing up. These are lies. These are lies that are filtered through your pain, but you believe them. So your heart will keep telling your brain lies. Okay, that's point one. A wounded heart filters, filters reality, so you're not even seeing clearly at all. It's distorted, it distorts your reality, amen.
Speaker 1:Point two forgiveness isn't denial, it's divine alignment. Okay, so I'm not saying listen to me, hear, I'm not saying that what they did was okay. That's not what I'm saying. This is saying that I'm taking my soul out of bondage, because when you are held in unforgiveness, your soul is held in bondage. So when you forgive, you're in divine alignment. You're taking your soul out of bondage and putting it back in God's courtroom. You know what I mean with God's justice, where he judges. He judges justly. That's a tongue twister. He judges justly. So not just me filtering everything and judging through my pain, but get it to the Lord, where he is a just God. You know, jesus tells forgive and you shall be forgiven. So forgiveness is alignment, amen. It's alignment. It's choosing his justice, his way, over the bitterness that comes from a wounded heart, because bitterness can set in. So forgiveness is not denial, it is divine alignment, amen.
Speaker 1:Third this is point three Choosing to heal is holy rebellion. Now, I know that rebellion has a negative connotation, but I'm not talking about rebelling against God. I'm talking about rebelling against his flesh, rebelling against what our flesh tells us to do, rebelling against what the world tells us to do. So choosing to heal and choosing to forgive is holy rebellion. So Romans 12 tells us don't be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So when you decide to heal, you're breaking curses, you are rejecting the destructive cycles that we tend to get in, you're rejecting isolation, you're rejecting silent suffering. You're rejecting all of that. When you choose to heal, you're telling the enemy you don't get to keep me in cycles of pain, you don't get to dictate what I do with my emotions. Okay, amen. So I want you to remember that. Let me go through these again so you can see. Remember that a wounded heart feels reality. Forgiveness is in. Denial is divine alignment, and choosing to heal is holy rebellion, amen.
Speaker 1:So as a coach, I see it all the time when your heart is carrying unhealed betrayal, your mind feels like protective narrative. So you're protecting yourself through the things you tell yourself, you self-sabotage, you blame, you're hyper vigilant. You know that's your body trying to protect itself and it's not wrong in itself, but it's filtered through life. So that's why your mind has to be renewed through the word and often therapy, also therapy. And jesus Jesus works.
Speaker 1:I've experienced this how betrayal literally wires your nervous system. It rewires it to expect pain. So you're not even expecting healing, you're expecting pain. You're expecting someone to betray you. It prevents you from trusting, from letting your guard down. So healing happens and it begins when we acknowledge the wound. So you acknowledge it and stop distorting everything. You start to increase in discernment. You know in your reality when you're rooted in God's word and what he says, and not just what your wound is saying to you.
Speaker 1:So I just wanted to share that with you and I'm going to bring up my guest so we can go deeper, because we want to dismantle the lies, we want to hear Pastor Lisa's story and we just want to have a conversation and just see what the Lord does. This is a sacred space. It is a space for healing, for storytelling, for transformation and for deliverance. Amen. So stay tuned. Like I said, share. We're having a conversation. Make sure you comment. I invite you to join us in commenting and letting your voice be heard too. All right, so let me introduce her. Pastor Lisa Reeves you ready? She like uh-huh, welcome. Welcome, pastor Lisa. I am so excited that you're here, like for real, for real.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness, for real, for real, like you are, oh my goodness, right For real, for real. But before we dive in, I know you are. I've sat on your ministry. I've been just privileged to receive words from you. I've been privileged to just hear your revelation, your wisdom, the knowledge God has given you, your testimony. Not all of it I'm still waiting for it but I've been impacted Personally. I've been impacted by the ministry. But for the women listening they're probably like oh, who is that? So I want you to tell them who you are and also what is the heartbeat of the work that God gave you? So what is the heartbeat of that that God gave you? So what is the heartbeat of that? So tell them who you are and then, what's that heartbeat of what he's called you to do?
Speaker 2:Well, first can I just say thank you so much, thank you so much for just asking. And well, we were talking and I said we need to do something. I was like, what can we do? And you were like, oh, I know. So I just bless God for you, tara. I'm telling you, it is absolutely the Lord, and he has connected our hearts together and our lives together, and I'm so grateful to the Lord for that.
Speaker 2:From the time I met you, this amazing person with all this energy, and then when I saw her, it was something about you, tara, and I believe I said this to you I said I love the way you lean in when the word is being released. When I was teaching or when I was sharing, you were leaning into the word man. It blessed me so much to see that because you were at such attention to what was being said. So from that point that I met you to now, god has done an amazing quick work. I'm telling you, you're not even the same person, tyra. You're not, and I'm not talking about you all. This was a year ago or three years ago. No, this was some months ago. February had to be February.
Speaker 1:I came to your gleaning in February. The night of gleaning was the first time. Yeah, it was February.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I met you at the summit. The summit was last With Jocelyn.
Speaker 1:Yeah, with Elder Jocelyn. The summit was last August, was it?
Speaker 2:I can't remember. I know it was. Look I it. I can't remember, I know it was not 2020, but it's just amazing what the Lord has done and it takes your obedience to allow him to do that. So I'm just, I'm so proud of you. I really am.
Speaker 2:Who is Pastor Lisa? My goodness, I am a wife, I am a mother Two amazing boys, I'm a daughter and I'm a sister, blood sister. I have one sister, my sister LaShawn, but I'm a pastor and I'm a leader and I believe that I am a lighthouse. I believe that I believe I'm a lighthouse and I'm an example, not just for women, but for men as well, and I'm grateful to the Lord for that. I really am my heartbeat and what the Lord has given to me. It is women and where women is in their brokenness and that area of being lost and not sure if they will ever be found right, I want to be that example and I want to be able to love them and to pull them, remind them of who they are in the Lord. I really am.
Speaker 2:And now it's just the men and it's the young people and it's the teenagers and listen. They when they see and they don't even understand what it is, but they're like whatever that is what she has. I want to be a part of that. I want to be like that. For somebody to have that, they don't understand even the joy. For somebody to have that, they don't understand even the joy, isn't it something how people won't recognize joy because they haven't experienced it, which is sad, but it's true. So when they see it, they're like I want that. What is that? They're drawn to it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, to just be a lighthouse and are. I was drawn to it. So when I was at the value summit, we touched on forgiveness too there, because was that the one elder jocelyn said to call someone that you, that you need to ask for forgiveness? Oh that was my. Like that because it's one thing I keep saying somebody you know needs to forgive and we need to forgive sometimes we need to ask for forgiveness.
Speaker 1:And that's when I met you. You were up there speaking, but you were so raw, so candid and I was drawn to that. The freedom, so free yes you know, and just stand, and not only in your femininity, because that's something too sometimes. You see the women, they're more you know, got to be all tough and no yeah, your anointing does talking your anointing yeah, you know what?
Speaker 1:I mean, but you walk in your femininity and I love that and I, I just love, I was just drawn to you, like you said. I'm like, oh, my goodness, I need to know who she is, because that's what you called me to do, lord, and I see it in action you know, I often say when the student's ready. The teacher will appear so in different levels we are in life and different people come into our lives for a reason. So we met how we were supposed to for a reason so.
Speaker 1:I am just grateful and I know we've talked about.
Speaker 1:You've been a blessing. We've talked about forgiveness, so I'll I'll start off because that right there, when I made that call at the value summit, I called my sister Now this is my biological sister, my mom's side. I called her and I said forgive me, and she's like for what she was at the gas station or something. I'm crying Forgive me because you have been trying to restore our relationship and I was pulling further away, just like it is what it is. And then she starts saying praise God, because it's something that she, she wanted and prayed for. I didn't know it, but me calling and saying forgive me broke something off her and we were able to have this amazing conversation because I had to stop rehearsing. Oh well, she did this when I was younger and she did this when I no, I she was still trying to reconcile the relationship and I was like, nope, we just got to have this what it is. It just is what it is Right. So I had to say forgive me, forgive me.
Speaker 1:For real, right. So I had to say forgive me. Forgive me for real, forgive me. I'm so sorry because I recognize where I messed up. It's not just you know. So I wanted to know what made you, because me and you talked and you was like I don't want to just talk about let's call it betrayal, I don't want to talk about forgiveness why is? It such. I don't even want to say hot topic. But why is this on your heart so?
Speaker 2:badly. You know why? Because it has been such a journey for me in that area of forgiveness. It started years ago. I see one of my daughters have commented. Carmel said I want joy. Right, it's something when you want joy because you understand that you have not had it or you lost it or you haven't experienced it. Right, and it's something because of life and things that have happened. Life and things that have happened.
Speaker 2:Forgiveness is so on my heart because I had to go through and I had to endure some horrible things and what people have said and what they have done and how they treated me, and I was mad and I was angry. You all that don't know me. I am one that I don't go around and just deal with things with sugar and fluff. I'm just going to, I'm just going to share. I was just very angry and I was mad and even bitterness had a hold of me and even heaviness was there. So the Lord had to deal with me.
Speaker 2:Isn't it something that we're quick to look at other people and what people have done? And, oh, god is revealing at this time. Oh, did you hear how God is exposing? And the truth of the matter is, god is revealing us to us. He's really revealing us to us. He is exposing us to us, and that's what he began to show me. He was showing me me. So listen, I mean, I have with my mother-in-law, which is my mother-in-law now, and we didn't speak for over 20 years. I didn't want to have anything to do with her, my husband's mother and I did not want her at our wedding. I did not want her to be a part.
Speaker 1:Okay, hold on y'all. Did y'all hear what she said? We don't have to slow it down for the people in the back. She said she did not talk to her mother-in-law for 20 years. Okay, okay, come on, tell us this story.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So those of you that do not know my husband, rob, he is. He's white, he's Caucasian, so we're in a racial couple. We were dating. His mother was fine with us dating, but when he began to talk about marrying me, she had a problem with that and she began to say do you understand what you're going to have to face Because you're going to be with her, if you have children and mixed children, and what they will have to go through?
Speaker 2:It was a lot of things that was said. I was angry about it. Her and I had words I wanted. I went over to the house. All kinds of stuff happened Again.
Speaker 2:I did not want her at our wedding. Rob asked my dad for my hand in marriage and we were planning the wedding and I was planning it without her. I did not want her to be involved with anything. I did not want to see her. I did not want to see her or she was not going to be involved with the boys. It was horrible and my husband was in the middle of all of it, when she would call or when she would come into town because she moved to Florida. I did not want her to come over. She was not allowed at my house, she was not allowed to see the boys. It was horrible, when I say I was mad and it was anger and it was bitterness.
Speaker 2:So, all the way until the beginning of July of 2024, the Lord began to deal with me so it has been almost a little bit over a year began to deal with me so it has been almost a little bit over a year. And I was home and I was just sitting and I was home by myself. The boys were gone, rob was at work and I wasn't praying. I was just sitting quiet and I was doing some work at the table and, literally, I heard the spirit of the Lord began to speak to me and he showed me her face. Now, tara, here's me. Now, lord, I don't know why you're showing me her face. Okay, I don't know what that's all about. So, okay, I just kept doing what I was doing. I was like, okay, you all, I could not finish anything before I knew it. I was already calling her. I was calling her.
Speaker 2:She answered the phone and, tara, I heard the phone drop. It just dropped and I heard her start wailing, crying in the background, and she was bawling, crying, and I was crying and I'm holding the phone and I had to wait for her to pick the phone back up. And she finally picked the phone up and she said Lisa, and I said yes, and she said no, I can't believe that it's you. And I said listen, I was like I wanted to call you and to let you know that I want you to forgive me. I want you to forgive me for all that I have said. What you heard me say in your face, what you didn't hear me say behind your back, the names I called you, the way I gathered my family to come against you because you know we are gather people, just come on person. I gathered my friends and I began to talk about her and I began.
Speaker 2:She dropped the phone again. She got back on the phone and she said wait, wait. She said let me, let me say let me speak, let let me apologize. She was said wait, wait. She said let me, let me say let me speak, let let me apologize. She was like what I said and how I said it. And I talked about you. That means I was talking about your family and talking to your parents and all of the and we're both bawling, crying on the phone and I said I want you to know that I love you and I love you with the love of Christ. And she started crying again. And, tara, all of a sudden I said Cher, do you have a relationship with the Lord? Jesus, christ, you better minister, christ, you better minister. 20 years I did not talk to this woman.
Speaker 1:The Lord had me call her which I did not want to call her.
Speaker 2:Listen, I see, sahara is on there, sahara, I was not trying to call her and I was like, and I began to speak to her about Jesus and who he is and how he can just enter into her heart and enter into her life. And I said well, you know what? Just repeat after me. She said whatever you say, I'm going to repeat it. She accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as her Lord and her savior the beginning of July 2024.
Speaker 2:And we have been connected and we were laughing and crying and my husband came walking in the door and he said who are you talking to, tara? I was still on the floor, I was still on the floor, I couldn't even get off the floor from crying. And I said I'm talking to your mom. And he just leaned back on the wall and he was like what? And I was like I've been talking to your mom for two hours. I said and we just been talking and I've been sharing with her and I've been talking to her about the Lord. And my husband had to walk away, tara. He walked away and went into the bedroom. He could not believe it and he was in the room weeping and was in Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:Okay, hold on, it's a lot to unpack here. I 20 years, 2025. You go back? What? 2005. Is I 20 years? This is 2025. You go back what 2005? Is that 20 years? Y'all help us this out. I'm english, major in psychology, not math but, I'm thinking about now this, because there are people watching right now who are sitting in that unforgiveness you're telling us what after looks like and what god can do when you're obedient.
Speaker 1:Because that was obedient, you could have ignored he. What if he said it before and you ignored it and you weren't ready? No, he could have thought before you know what was that like? How do you get it's like quicksand. You didn't got in it and you in it. How did you know you were deep in it? Or was it immediate?
Speaker 2:no, I you know, because it's something when you're in quicksand the more you move, the more you sink oh, that's come on, even when I was uncomfortable with it, even when it was the holidays and christmas and it was her mother's day, and I would just be like, you know, rob wants to send a gift and cards and, babe, can you? You just sign the card. Y'all, I wouldn't sign the card.
Speaker 1:You wouldn't sign the card. So see, now I hear bitterness. That's bitterness, it was bitterness.
Speaker 2:It was moving in that quicksand. Guess what I was sinking? I was going deeper in that, in that anger, in that unforgiveness. And, tara, if I can just go back just a little bit, even as before, when you first clicked on, you were talking about the wounds. Right, and it's something that those wounds are there. But I want us to understand this evening that with that process and when you allow the Lord to do it, see, you have to have a will, right, and it has to be that timing.
Speaker 2:I was not ready five years ago. I wasn't ready 10 years ago. It had to be the Lord. Those wounds were there, but the wounds really turned into wisdom Because the Lord began to reveal me, to me. I began to see me and see how unhappy I was and how I was looking and how I looked to my husband and how I looked to my boys, and they were younger, but they knew that mommy didn't want to talk about grandma share. My boys knew that those wounds were open and they were sore because of that bitterness. Right, you were talking about breaking the cycles, Tara, but and it's the breaking of the cycles and breaking of the patterns, but listen, we have to make sure as the breaking takes place. We don't recycle.
Speaker 1:Come on, y'all write that down.
Speaker 2:I told y'all we tend to recycle some things, and that's why, when you're in that bitterness and you're in that anger, there's a process for the Lord to begin to heal. That healing has to take place. If not, the enemy will keep you in that and that heaviness will stay on you.
Speaker 1:And in that process it wasn't just your process. So your husband's in a process, your boys are in a process and you, you envelop them all in that because, whether you know it or not, your husband is in between his wife and his mother, loving both and trying to please both, and you're like no, no, no, oh, my goodness, the freedom that you gave him and your boys, the freedom for your family, yes, the cycles that are broken.
Speaker 2:Yes, and when I got a taste of that freedom for myself after the Lord was exposing Lisa to Lisa, right, it was a great exposure. You all, right, I know we're quick to look at the headlines and we're looking to see who's been revealed and what's going on, but the truth of the matter is the Lord is revealing us to us. He's really exposing you to you, right? So when I stepped into that freedom, my goodness y'all, it just began to overtake me. I was like Lord. Then I was crying. Then I went into repentance and I was like Lord.
Speaker 2:You know, I sat in this for 20 years. I sat in it and the Lord began to tell me, lisa, I was doing some things in those 20 years Because watch this, tara, you all listen to me. I began to really lay before the Lord and I said Lord, forgive me, because I misrepresented heaven, I misrepresented you. How in the world could people see, how could she see the evidence of Christ on me? She knew I was preaching, she knew I was a pastor, she knew that. But then I didn't speak to her For all these years. That, right there I said Lord, I have been Misrepresenting you. Help us.
Speaker 1:Come on, help us, jesus.
Speaker 2:It's the freedom, it's the freedom, it's the freedom.
Speaker 1:Freedom, that's the word. Yes, miss judy, I see you freedom. Latonya, I see you, you're really blessing everyone tonight, even myself, because to me and I don't know, you tell me if you, if you agree with this, maybe not, but there can be levels to unforgiveness. You may not be able to do a blanket, it may take a step before you're able to say OK, fully Do you agree with that?
Speaker 2:I agree with it because those blankets are really time. It takes time, you know, and it's OK. You're mad at what was said and what happened and you know, pastor Lisa, I forgive them, but I don't, I'm not going to forget what they did. Then you haven't stepped into freedom, right? Because people be like, no, no, no, I forgive, I just won't forget. Yes, I know, I heard you the first time.
Speaker 2:You're not free because the enemy is going to take that. He's going to take it because, because you haven't forgotten, so he's going to take it and he's going to hold it and he's going to remind you and, before you know it, it'll be something that will remind you of the person or things that happen. That old feeling will come back up. Right, it has to be complete forgiveness. I mean it has to be a complete surrender, even where that you say the levels, you have to ask the Lord to take it. Lord, take this from me, lord.
Speaker 2:I've been trying to do it and I've been trying to do it my way. I've been leaning there on my own understanding. It's been my own opinion. It's been my own emotions, lord, it's been my own feelings. But, lord, if I completely give it to you and not pick it back up, tyra, because see, if we keep remembering, we're going to keep picking it back up and then you're going to put it in your back pocket and then, when you go to an event or a summit and you see the person or the people, and you'll be in the middle of worship and all of a sudden, those feelings are going to come back Really.
Speaker 2:You're in the middle of worship and all of a sudden, those feelings are going to come back Really. You're in the middle of worship, you lift in your hands and you saying Lord, you abide in me and I abide in you and, lord, I call on you. You're just singing and worshiping, but afterwards you will go around the other way to avoid the person. You won't even speak to them, you won't even look at them. There's layers of it.
Speaker 2:You got to keep going before the Lord and saying, lord, I forgive again, help me, I forgive again, lord. Can somebody put that in the chat? Lord I forgive again.
Speaker 1:I forgive again. Lord, I literally had to forgive again yesterday. I forgive again today.
Speaker 2:I saw your text to me. I was praying.
Speaker 1:I had to forgive again, because we get attacked from all sides, you know, and especially in that, because it's like, just because I'm a believer, it don't mean you just can dump everything on me and then slap me all the time and bring it out and do it again.
Speaker 2:No, no that's not how it works, and you can't keep allowing people to do that. I think, um, some people are used to that. People just dumping and it's so much. And you're already heavy. Watch this Tara, watch this Vanessa I see Vanessa's on the chat because the unforgiveness will bring about heaviness. So you know you're heavy already, but then you have people dumping all of this. Now you're carrying their stuff too and you're just trying to step into the freedom You're trying to. You can't even get in the door of freedom, because you got everything on view. You can't even fit through the door. You can't even fit through the door.
Speaker 1:I can't just say cause I'm so visual, I see the whole thing, I see, I see the people in the door.
Speaker 2:I see all of it, yeah, you, and elbows and and feet and arms, you're trying to get through the door because you're holding all of their stuff and yours and you mad and it's bitterness and I.
Speaker 1:You know what I want to know. If you guys would be transparent in the, in the viewers who are watching, can you let us know? Put a one in the chat if right now you need to forgive someone. Put a one in the chat if right now you know that you should forgive someone, but you're wrestling with deep anger, maybe you're wrestling with frustration, but you know you need to forgive, just put a one in the chat. Okay, there's one. Thank you for your honesty, vanessa Sharita. Thank you for your honesty. Manzari. Thank you for your honesty Because you know that you should Come on.
Speaker 2:Kim got a lot of ones. Kim got a lot of ones.
Speaker 1:Monica, angela. Thank you guys for your honesty. Yes, because we all know we should forgive, forgive, but we wrestle with the resentment. Not want to be a punk, not, you know and not feeling ready. So I want to know, pastor lisa, what does the decision to forgive come first, or does forgiveness follow healing? Does it, how does it? It's so good.
Speaker 2:It can really be both. That's so good, honestly it is, and it has to be. It's such a hard thing, y'all, my goodness, it's a hard thing, and what our minds and our hearts we got to kind of. You said something about alignment earlier. So good, when we look at alignment and you look at the definition for alignment, it really it will tell you it's a proper arrangement. Your mind and your heart it's a proper arrangement and you have to be in the line with heaven. But your mind is telling you remember, because that and they said, and how he did, and and the truth of the matter is we had the best example because they raised him high and they stressed him wide, right, he stopped dying, y'all, he was in the middle of dying and he stopped dying to look to the father, and we know that right.
Speaker 2:But in these fleshly bodies. That's why every day we have to say Lord, kill this flesh. Like Paul said, if you got to beat me black and blue, this flesh has to get up. You have to have a will to want it. You got to be tired enough, tara, to not keep carrying it. You know it's exhausting, it really is.
Speaker 2:No, people say, no, I'm good, I'm good. No, you're not good, babe, you're not. You can't possibly with you carrying that and that unforgiveness. And is there? He said he wished above all that we will be in good health, that we will prosper as our souls shall prosper. Prosper as our souls shall prosper.
Speaker 2:There's that bitterness is in your soul. Come on, there's a tug of war there in your soul and you back and forth, and all you really have to do is drop the rope. We're in the tug of war with ourselves because the enemy is laughing and he enjoys it. When we're mad at each other, that's where we have to be before the Lord. That's when that time comes in, tara praying and fasting and seeking the Lord, saying Lord, help me with this. I see Monica is on. Help me, lord, with this. I've tried to do it and he will. He will do it. I'm telling you to do it and he will. He will do it. I'm telling you. And before you know it, you're not going to just say well, you know, even if I forgive, they probably won't accept my apologies.
Speaker 2:So, it's not about them. We're talking about your freedom. It's about what? You're going to do, even if they don't want to hear you. You, it's the way you can say it. Well, I just felt led. I wanted to come to you and apologize and watch this, tara, this is so good because I've heard people say well, I apologize, and I was just like so you're going to apologize to me?
Speaker 1:mmm, mmm, that's good.
Speaker 2:You're going to apologize to me. That's good, come on, you're going to apologize Now. You're going looking for an apology. Oh, if I apologize, they better apologize back. No, no, it is what you need to do so you can be free. It is what you need to do so you can be free, so that joy can begin to just be like a flooding coming in. You understand that type of weight that will be lifted because you did it. It's not about them, it's about your freedom and you moving forward. Stop waiting for apologies.
Speaker 1:Stop waiting for apologies.
Speaker 2:Stop waiting for apologies, and so, even if you don't get one, you'll be okay. You'll be okay. Vanessa said help tonight, lord, help tonight.
Speaker 1:Because that is so good. So many people are wrestling with that. Look at all the ones we receive. They know they need to forgive, but they're wrestling with the anger, the wrestling with taking somebody off the hook because you need to pay for what you did. It's all about I want payment for this, I want um recompense. You have to. You have to do something. We can't, I can't just let you off the hook, but it's like lord lets us off every day. We to do something.
Speaker 2:We can't, I can't just let you off the hook, but it's like Lord, let's just off.
Speaker 1:every day we literally do something to someone else every day. Every day we do something to them every day we can and believers as believers.
Speaker 2:Yes, over there on Mark 11, he said listen, if you don't stand forgiving, he said, then the Father? The Father will not you all. We have to have that type of fear and to know that, listen, god is dealing with us. Well, let me just say me, ok, god is dealing with me every day. You all, I had a situation just a couple of weeks ago when I tell you the enemy, tyra, y'all keep praying for me. It was like out of nowhere, out of nowhere. And I said, lord, look at this interruption, look at how the enemy just came in like that, trying to remind me of something and watch this, watch this Kai, watch this Monica. The enemy tried to pull me back to something that I don't even deal with anymore, where the Lord is already healed me.
Speaker 2:He has healed me. I mean, I'm walking in wholeness. You understand, I'm skipping along with joy. I'm doing the backstroke in happiness. And the enemy thought he was going to pull me back to something. And I said look at this interruption. And you know what the Lord told me. Oh, judy, god began to speak and told me Lisa, even with the interruptions, it's purpose on the other side. Oh, it's purpose on the other side. The enemy will bring the interruption. He's going to bring distractions, but are you going to react to them or will you respond? And I said oh no, you trying to pull me back to something. Monica, I don't even live there no more. You understand, I don't live there no more. You don't allow people to pull you back to something old, so, where you are not at anymore, don't, don't allow anyone to do that. You stand firm in what the Lord has bought you out of and what you're standing on now. You know.
Speaker 1:I was like, oh no, that's so good's, not a part of me. It happened to me also what I learned. I was on the prayer line tuesday and and let's just, let's tell you did amazing. Someone came on in a comment about not letting the devil steal our joy and things like that, and I and I was like I let him distract me for like three hours Three hours probably was the max and I was back on. But in the past it would have been days, it would have been just my hope, just falling apart and going into despair and all these things. But about three hours I was like, okay, get back. I'm grateful for community, because that matters, but you bounce back faster than you did before. So recognize, you see, that nothing he does is new.
Speaker 2:You're doing the same thing he does like you said.
Speaker 1:You're attacking my soul, my mind, my will, my emotions, but I get right back. I got right back that's right so I was grateful for that, like, okay, I do see you. And then there was wisdom in oh okay, I thought this is how you come, this is how I react. So when that happens again, I need to sit and I need to respond a different way, or not respond at all, because it's not.
Speaker 1:You don't necessarily um, yeah it's not necessary, but I like that you're saying that. But I wanted people to know that if you're not there yet to be able to bounce back so fast, just give yourself. Just recognize how you respond or react yes, and yes, give yourself grace for bouncing back yes, you're not sitting as long as you did before, because I was like, okay, three hours, all right, yes, yeah, it wasn't three days.
Speaker 1:No it wasn't three days, but it has been in the past right, yeah it has been in the past, so I know that you guys. She had 20 years. I'm not I don't know how long you guys been sitting in unforgiveness, but it broke your family you doing that broke chain.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was the same with family Right, I'm I'm a PK. It was five. It's five of us, and you know my, my siblings. You know they were against me and it was no reason. It's like Joseph Right. And you know, my brother, ben, had his wedding. I was the only one that didn't. I did not go to the wedding. I did not because I knew they weren't speaking to me, right. So my brother and one of my cousins were sending me pictures of the wedding. I did not want to take my boys there because we were already not invited to different family functions. This had went on for almost 10, almost 10 years.
Speaker 1:Recently, recently, yeah, no, you had so much coming against you yeah, in the way of relationship and still that people were coming up against you.
Speaker 2:Wow, and you still get up and you give god because, gift, because you learn. You learn from it. Mama, you just said that how you? It was three hours. You know why? Because you've learned from the other times. You've grown since then. There's a maturity, tara, that has taken place. You're not going to sit in it. You understand that it began to smell after a while, so you're not going to sit in it. You understand that it began to smell after a while, so you're not going to sit in it. So that's where that maturity, that growth, has to come. You all, we can't just keep sitting in it. Well, I'm just not. So where's the growth? He's, he's waiting on us. He's waiting on us, he's counting on us, you all, and if we will be, I'm a lighthouse for the men and the women right, the saved, unsaved. I want them to see the evidence of Christ. We can say Jesus all day, but where's the evidence? It has to be an evidence.
Speaker 1:And that's when you know you've learned, Tara.
Speaker 2:I want you to know that because you didn't sit in it for three days. Babe, you know what I mean. You've learned from that.
Speaker 1:People have to learn Too much to do. I got assignments out here.
Speaker 2:It's too much. It's too much, babe Too much to do. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:So you, being a pastor, it's a lot, because when you said something about family, that is literally something I bet all of us can relate to and, being a pastor, you know we get, and you're a christian and you're supposed to, and you're supposed to all these supposed to that they have a list of supposed to's for us.
Speaker 1:There's a list of oh yeah, from your family when you're supposed to this and you're the bigger person you're supposed to that. Oh well, hold on, hold on. Oh, let's bring it on back. So with this you're not being invited. You didn't go. Is that being a bigger person? Or how does that resonate, like you know, with you being a you know what and not?
Speaker 2:yeah, um, and I knew that it was going to be better overall, um, not just for me because it was. It was, you know, I wasn't looking at myself. I knew it was going to be better overall, not just for me because it was. You know, I wasn't looking at myself. I knew it was going to be better for my brother. I didn't want him to be, you know, thinking like, oh my goodness, you know, lisa is by herself or, you know, because nobody out of my other siblings, they weren't speaking to me. I did not want him to have to experience any of that. I didn't want to have to try to talk to my other cousins. When one of my siblings came around, that was horrible. I was like I'm not going to do that and I'm not going to do that to myself.
Speaker 1:I was like I'm not, I want to sit here for a minute. I'm not going to do that to myself. I want to sit here for a minute. I'm not going to do that to myself. I so appreciate you giving yourself permission To say that and do that. Because do you go and force If someone doesn't want to talk to you? Are you forcing?
Speaker 2:this conversation.
Speaker 1:Come on and drop some wisdom. I literally just had this conversation with my sister the other day, so drop some wisdom. I hope you're listening, sis. No conversation with my sister the other day, so drop some wisdom, I hope you're listening, sis.
Speaker 2:No, you don't have to force yourself. It's why? Why would you even do that? Again, you're forcing yourself Now. You're putting things back on you. It's more stress, it's more heaviness. You're nervous, you're trying to figure out what to do. You don't have to do that. I wasn't going to put myself in that position. I wasn't, and then I was going to be unhappy. I wasn't going to enjoy the wedding. I wasn't right. He began to send me pictures and I enjoyed it. That way. You have to know you don't have to force yourself anywhere because you don't have to. The Lord is placing you right where you need to be. It's about you. It's about you. It's not about forcing, making people here am I see me? I want to do. No, the Lord is so cleaning and he's stripping and he's removing and he's purging us, so that when he looks at us, he sees himself.
Speaker 1:He's really looking for himself.
Speaker 2:So we cannot Come on reflection. Oh, come on, come on with that reflection, come on, we cannot have unforgiveness. That's there. We can't.
Speaker 1:Because you can forgive. You can forgive, but forgive does not mean like. Let me tell you something. I think I told you this before we talked about this. Restoration doesn't mean reconciliation. I can forgive you, I can be restored in my heart. I cannot have a problem when you're around, but that doesn't mean that I want to be with you. You know what I mean. That doesn't mean I want to be friends with you or hang out, even family relationships Sometimes those are just not good for you. You know you're my relative. That's awesome, but that doesn't mean I got to pick it with you regularly.
Speaker 2:It doesn't mean it's going to be access. That doesn't mean we'll there, you go, yeah, and it's okay, and I have forgiven you, and when we see each other, we can speak, we can wave. How are you, how's the family? That nice conversation. There's just no access to me. Listen, I forgave you, but it's not going to be a color purple moment. We're not, we're not and it's okay.
Speaker 2:It really is. It is boundaries there. I'm not mad at you, I've forgiven you, but it's going to take some time for me to trust you, because what you did, I forgave you and I'm not going to continue to pick it up. But, man, that trust that I had with you because of what happened, it's going to take me a while, but even in that, while we're good, it's just no accent Come on.
Speaker 1:I love how you put that. That's how I feel for those who are watching. We're good, it's just no access. Come on. I love how you put that. That's how I feel for those who are watching. We're good, I love you.
Speaker 2:I forgave you, but access is just limited it is, it's limited and it's and it is okay really for both of us and it's okay yeah, yeah, it's important.
Speaker 1:Boundaries are important and we. It's up to you to respect your own boundaries.
Speaker 2:We we really messed up.
Speaker 1:We're mad at people because they didn't respect our boundaries. They don't have to respect your boundaries they don't have.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like y'all. What are we doing?
Speaker 1:you respect your own boundaries. That's how that works. But yeah, like you said, it's a heart, heart posture, forgiveness yes it takes time, yes, time, yes, it's a decision. You do decide to forgive but it's also a healing process. Yes, you know so in the church, in your experience are you have you seen a lot of women dealing with this, dealing with unmet expectations, open wounds and yes, are you okay?
Speaker 2:look, I'm like you don't even have to. You know it's a whole list. Oh, the list starts from the leader. Honestly, pastors and leaders. You know, first ladies. I know first ladies that are hurt and they are wounded. I know first ladies that are holding unforgiveness against their husbands, but they sit there every week and in every service and every event. Right, it's a part of abuse, you know. And someone that I know very dear, she's a first lady to a very big bishop in Detroit and she holds this horrible unforgiveness towards her husband and I have talked to her over and over. But until she has a will to want to really be before the Lord and completely surrender so he can heal her in that area, so she can walk in wholeness, right, and the enemy fights her so bad with it and she continues to pick it back up what he did and how he did it right. And they have little children. Their children are not even teenagers, but I've told her you have to be able to allow the Lord to do it. So, from the leaders all the way down and it's a lot that is in God's house People mention church hurt all the time.
Speaker 2:You all. I am a bit exhausted from church. Hurt I am and I'm going to say this in love because we have been hurt so many other places, but we're still going. So when people say I don't go to church anymore, I don't deal with church, church hurt is real. It is. But they hurt you on your job. They didn't hurt you in your family. They didn't hurt you. You're still going to work. You're still dealing with even if the family have boundaries, they're still your family.
Speaker 2:Don't allow where you have been hurt in church through someone and then you're just going to leave. I really want to say that again because people are leaving too quickly because of their feelings are hurt. Why would you leave? And you know it's good fruit there. You know that you've been fed good, that you're growing there. You're, you're a better person because you've been there. Seek the Lord and ask him to help you in that area so that you began to pray. Watch this, tara, for those that have hurt you. It's a part of forgiveness. It's a part of forgiveness. Say it one more time.
Speaker 2:Say it one more time, pastor Lisa, when you can get to a place, it is a part of the forgiveness and it's a part of the healing. So you can walk in that wholeness, that the Lord will trust you enough that you will begin to pray for those that have hurt you. Sincerely pray for those that have hurt you.
Speaker 1:That right there. It takes maturity and it does take you having a certain relationship with the Lord to be able to do that Because you're trusting him. You're trusting him with your heart. I remember I heard you say you had cried out for the Lord to hold your heart in your hand, in his hand, and it touched me so deeply and I'm like I can relate to that, having such a hurt, broken heart and just saying, lord, give me more grace. I need more grace. I need more grace to endure. I need more grace to parent my children. I need more grace. I need more grace to endure. I need more grace to parent my children. I need more grace to deal with people every day.
Speaker 1:I need more grace for the assignment you have for me, because it requires me to say things that ruffle feathers. It requires me to step on toes and you know people have conviction. I need more grace and I need more grace. You know so. When you say that, it really makes me put myself back in what the Lord wants in front and center. So, even with forgiveness and all of that, I have to say it's not about me, it's what you want, god. Like you said earlier. How does this reflect Everything we do should glorify the Lord, right? So how is this? Glorifying God, my goodness? You know how. So how is this glorifying God, my goodness? You know how? Is holding this unforgiveness? Glorifying you, lord.
Speaker 1:Is it glorifying you. It isn't, you know it isn't.
Speaker 2:So, and we have to. That's that alignment again, right, with our mind and with our heart together. We have to watch our words. We have to watch our words and what we say and how we say it. I catch myself all the time. I'm just like, lord, help me. Right? I have a very strong voice and you know I'm stern and sometimes you know people be like, well, pastor Lisa, and I don't even mean it that way, right, but we have to watch our words. When we look over there. Can someone put it in the chat, or maybe you can, tara.
Speaker 2:Psalm 19 and 14. When you look at Psalm 19 and 14, that was David. David understood that he had said some things and it was not pleasing to the Lord. Right, david was a man after God's own heart. And when you began to read the word of the Lord, it says you know, when you look at Psalm 19 and 14, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart, lord, let it be acceptable in thy sight.
Speaker 2:Isn't it something that David said? It was personal Tyra. He was like let the words of my mouth. He didn't say let the words of their mouths, lord. Don't you see what they've said? Don't you see what they've done. Look at how David said no, it's just about me, it's about what I've done, how I've created this, how I've made mistakes, how I've made a bad decision. Lord, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Lord what I've been holding and thinking in my heart against people. He said let it be acceptable. Is it acceptable? Is what we've been saying and praying and talking and our communication? Can you ask yourself, vanessa has my words, my conversation, lord, has it been acceptable to you?
Speaker 1:My God Lord, has it been acceptable to you?
Speaker 2:My God, I'm talking about myself, y'all.
Speaker 1:That's a Selah moment, selah. We got to pause and think on that thing. Selah, selah, has it been acceptable? Jesus help?
Speaker 2:us.
Speaker 2:It's good. Help us, lord. You have to make sure it's acceptable. You have to make sure it's acceptable. Tara, you were talking about how you were, how you sat. You dealt with it for just three hours, but not for three days, right? I want you to understand that what you did in the past and I'm just talking to you, tara, and those of you that are on the chat as well, I want to bless you with this I want you to understand that how you were in the past and how you dealt with things and how you handled things, how you reacted. But now you're responding. Right, they're really lessons for you. That's why you've grown from it. That's why it wasn't three days, it was just three hours.
Speaker 2:I'm saying that to say to Vicky that's on the chat listen. I want you to understand that your past is really lessons for you to be learned. They're lessons to be learned. It is not for you to go back to the past to think on how you were, how you handle things, because you're going to stay there. The enemy wants you to be stuck there. You don't live there. Do you all hear what I'm saying? You don't live there. The past is where you've learned lessons. It's not for you to live there, so I wanted to just share that really quick. I don't know if it's mine. She said it's like soul food.
Speaker 1:I didn't hear that last thing. It's soul food. I love that because it is. When you were talking about the scripture and is it acceptable? I thought like, wow, this is why unforgiveness hurts us so badly because we have to steward our mouths. We have to steward our walk, not the other people. I have to steward this, you know. So holding unforgiveness hurts me and it's not pleasing to my father.
Speaker 2:And it hurts you, it's hurting you. You're heavy with it. Right away I forgave my brothers and my sister. I didn't hold anything against them. I did not.
Speaker 2:Some other things happened. I was still here. I wasn't stuck in it. Hey, my Kia, I wasn't stuck in it and I wasn't going to allow the enemy to hold me by my ankles and say, but this is what they did and you know, they talked about you when they gathered together. Can you imagine what they said and how they said it again, and I wouldn't allow it. When I say I wouldn't allow it, I just began to really lean Tara, into the Lord and say Lord, you're going to have to help me with this, you're going to have to help me. I wasn't invited to family functions. I didn't wasn't invited to different things. I had to be okay with that and I was okay, and I'm still okay, right.
Speaker 2:And now we're back and all of us are talking, and you know it was OK. They, you know, started talking back to me. I didn't say well, what about what you did four years ago? Don't do that. What about what? So I'm just supposed to forget and forgive and just move on? Yes, just forgive so that you can move on. Do you understand what God is holding us responsible for my father, my mother, where they were training my brother, sam, to take the ministry? He didn't want the ministry. Well, I didn't think about taking or being a part of the ministry because I didn't want to deal with the church folks, because I saw how they treated my parents, so I didn't. I didn't, you know, but because my dad chose my brother, god chose me, hallelujah, he chose me and I'm grateful to the Lord. I was the one partying. I don't think we have that much time to talk about it.
Speaker 1:We got a little time.
Speaker 2:I partied real good, y'all real good, and I enjoy partying and going and doing what I wanted to do and how I did it and who I did it with. Ok, and I said no, Lord, you you're not choosing me. You know what I've done, you know. No, you couldn't possibly choose me. And the Lord said no, I'm going to choose you because I can trust you, Because if I be lifted up, I will be the one that will draw all men unto me, Lisa. So when you speak about what I've done, when you tell them how I transformed your life and how I transformed your mind, and as I held your heart, I began to do a work in your heart. I began to do surgery and I began to pull and strip things that didn't belong there, that didn't look like me, and then I placed your heart back there and but if you need me to hold it, I will. He said I chose you.
Speaker 2:So, Tara, where I am, that unforgiveness could not stay there. You know why? Because I'm not going to mishandle the mantle. Handle the mantle. I'm not going to just drop the mantle from my father and my mother. I'm not going to drag that mantle. I'm not going to have people say well, you know, Pastor Lisa act this way and she didn't speak to me. Baby, I probably didn't even see you if I didn't have my glasses or my contacts in. I didn't mean to People that know me know that's not my character. I will not allow people to try to put things on me and say that I'm this type of person or she's still this and that's who she is. No, I will not be a leaky vessel.
Speaker 1:That's good, I will not be a leaky vessel. Oh, that's good, I will not be a leaky vessel. No, that's so good, hallelujah.
Speaker 2:God is helping us. He's helping us. You all, let God arise and let his enemies be scattered. Come on, he's waiting on us. Who is that? Is that? Is that?
Speaker 1:I'm gonna read it out. There's a question, yes, and it's. It's from vicky hold on vicky. Let me get it up here. It says question pastor lisa, how do you respond when folks feel some kind of way because you have forgiven, maybe forgiven them but you don't want to be around them or go to gatherings or take their call? So how, she's asking, how does she respond to them? How do?
Speaker 2:you respond? How do you respond to people that feel some kind of way? She's not yes, yes, but you have forgiven them, right, vicky? She's saying feel a kind kind of a way because you have forgiven, but you don't want to vicky, um, that's on them. If they feel a certain kind of way, vicky, that has nothing to do with you, it does not. And how do you respond? You can respond, gentle.
Speaker 2:You can respond if they feel a certain kind of way, if they call you, vicki, if they want to know, if they text you and say well, you know what, why you didn't show up or why you don't want to go. Just be honest, vicki. Right, people will try to find a way out of things. You don't have to because you've grown into that. You have forgiven them, but you've moved on. You can respond very carefully, vicki. Make sure that you don't react to it, don't you just say what you're going to say right off the top of your head Well, I done forgave you. Now you should just leave it. Or I done forgave you, I just don't feel like being around y'all. I don't like no, you're reacting there. I want you to be careful to respond to them, right? So if they ask you.
Speaker 2:You know why haven't you showed up? Why won't you come by? Why don't you come through sometime? Just let them know. You know what? I'm just in a place right now. Listen when I tell you God is dealing with me. He is dealing with me. So, as right now, let me give him room to do that and we're good. I may not be able to, you know, be there at the event. No, I don't. You don't have to give me a ticket. I don't think I'm going to be able to make it, because even what you feel in that way, we're good. But I don't think I'm there yet and I'm OK. I just need to sit before the Lord. He's dealing with me. Respond, vicki, right, she said my. My anointing irritates them.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I believe that.
Speaker 2:I believe that. I absolutely believe that, not just your anointing, but Vicki, if you have that anointing and it's wrapped in joy and it's wrapped in peace, they will be irritated. So that's why you can respond, because of the peace that's on them. If they feel a certain kind of way, you that's on them. If they feel a certain kind of way, don't you take that on, vicky, I don't want you to carry that that's on them, right? So you just respond, don't react to it.
Speaker 1:so let's talk about and that's such a good answer because we do need to. I know I've had to work on that a lot in the past. I've grown a lot, but sometimes when I do respond, I mean react versus respond. I feel bad, like.
Speaker 2:Lord.
Speaker 1:I am so quick to repent, I am quick to just seriously. I am a Lord correct my behavior. I don't. I constantly want to be better than I was yesterday. That is, people who know me know this is true. I know that about you. But I feel it's easier for me to forgive other people than myself.
Speaker 1:So I want to talk about that, like we talk about forgiving others and we know we need to forgive others, but how was it? How? How important is it for us to forgive ourselves, for women to forgive themselves, and and what does that look like like practically and even spiritually, when we don't like? What does it look like in our lives and how we take care of ourselves when we're not forgiving ourselves?
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, listen, that's so, it's so good, because that's where it has to start, that healing yourself, your heart, your mind, right, your spirit, all of that. It has to be that healing has to start with you. It really does. So it's still yet a process for it and you have to be open to it. You have to give yourself grace. You have to, you have to give yourself grace. You have to, you have to give yourself grace and you have to be before the Lord.
Speaker 2:Listen when I say that, because the enemy, over the years he have tried to really pin things on us as women. We carried other people, carried our mothers, carried what our grandmothers, our aunts, what, and we have to get in a place that we're going to allow the Lord to really shed us right, that purging, that removing. He has to chisel some things off of us then that we can't keep picking it back up. We have to really die to self. I wish Shay was on, because Shay said something some months ago and she said you know, pastor Lisa, fasting will become a lifestyle. And it's so true, fasting has to become a lifestyle, like don't just say you're going to fast at the beginning of the year and then you're waiting on the Daniel fast and then you don't fast again. You know what I mean. You, baby for the Lord, and you see what the Lord he may have you fast for three days straight, just water. It may be one day, 24 hours, no phone, no TV, laying on the floor laying at his feet, letting him pull out of you and began to pour back in you. Let God do it. That is that time. That's that habitation, tyra. That's in Psalm 91.
Speaker 2:We speak about Psalm 91, but when you look over there, that habitation, david understood that was a place that he just was going to meet God there. He didn't bring nobody with him, it wasn't the intercessors, it wasn't your prayer partner, it wasn't. You know what I'm saying. You met him there and that's when God will began to really dig in there and began to show you who you are. That's where that healing takes place and the Lord will show you that attitude. My goodness, I love that. Yeah, yeah, that. That, that that part of you that you have to forgive yourself, what you did, what you said about yourself, on yourself and how you said things and how. When you looked in the mirror then you didn't want to look back at yourself and how you will put yourself down.
Speaker 2:We got to go back, you got to go back and you got to repent for that and say Lord, all of those words, listen, we are quick to say no weapon formed against me shall prosper and every tongue that has rise or has raised against us, god is really, what about your own tongue, that part, what about that weapon? Maybe your mouth? Maybe the weapon is your mouth. Lord, help me, help me with this Lord. I'm surrendering all to you. That's why that fasting and I'm surrendering all to you. That's why that fasting and that prayer, that fasting going to deal with your flesh.
Speaker 2:Every day, every day.
Speaker 1:So with the jewels, we have a corporate fast and I encourage them to have a day, at least a day, of personal fast. So, yes, fasting is definitely a lifestyle and the Lord will call you to fast. I know he calls me to fast, so definitely it's. It's awesome. Yeah, this walk is something, yeah, really beautiful it really is I'm great I am too.
Speaker 2:I am too because it feels. It feels amazing it does it's.
Speaker 1:The joy is the real.
Speaker 2:It's real right, because when you hold it, tara, that heaviness will bring on sickness and you'll be sick who said that my kia?
Speaker 1:did somebody say, yeah, my kia has spoke on, wasn't it you, my kia? You were saying that unforgiveness, here it is. She said unforgiveness will cause sickness. We can't hold on to anything or anyone. Let it go y'all.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and you will make yourself sick. You will make yourself sick because you're holding that against and towards someone else. You're sick All of a sudden. I don't know what it is. I've had this headache for three days. I've never get headaches. It's not worth it, right? It's not worth it, I've been out of battle cancer.
Speaker 1:I was in a hospital with sepsis shock.
Speaker 2:I was told I had three days to live.
Speaker 1:It ain't worth it.
Speaker 2:It's not worth it, tyra, it's not worth it. You got back pain your shoulder, you. You can't sleep. What, what, what? Your stomach is upset.
Speaker 1:You haven't been able to eat for a week. What my kid said, lord, I forgive myself and I release myself from the bondage I put myself in. I forgive myself in Jesus name. Yes, lord, so good.
Speaker 2:How many others need to?
Speaker 1:say this. How many others need to declare this? Lord, I forgive myself I forgave all the things in the past, but every day forgive yourself. Every day we fall short, every day there's something. Oh man, I wish I didn't say that. Oh, I wish I didn't know that. I forgive myself again, as you say. I forgive again I. Oh, I wish I didn't know that. I forgive myself again, as you say.
Speaker 2:I forgive again. I forgive myself again. Yep, there you go. Prophet Brandon is on.
Speaker 1:Bless you, nephew, if you all have any questions. We're going to wrap up in about 15 minutes, but if you all have any questions, please post them in the chat. I am so enjoying this. I want to know.
Speaker 1:Me too, them in the chat. I am so enjoying this. I want to know me too. I want to know from people in the chat have you ever had to ask someone to forgive you? Because I think it's so important that we look in the mirror and, as it says in james, that we look intently and we don't walk away forgetting what manner of person we are. Because often we do that we look intently and we don't walk away forgetting what manner of person we are, because often we do that we look and then we walk away and forget who we are.
Speaker 1:What you know, we really are at our core, so it's really important to self-reflect. So have you asked someone to forgive you, you know? I want you guys to think about that, whether, I don't even know, somebody could say no, no, I don't forgive you, I don't forgive you. Isn't that something if you?
Speaker 2:know really that is they may not.
Speaker 1:And then what do you do with that? Oh yeah, yeah, what? What do you do if you don't get an apology, you don't get changed behavior?
Speaker 2:yeah, yeah, and I have. I've come across that just recently and guess what from a pastor that I didn't do anything. I didn't, I didn't do anything but because others have said and how others treat him. So when, when I saw him, I went to like lean in to say hey, and he kind of was like hey, I was like and I just, you know, I leaned back over to him and I was like really, and I was like what, what is this? And we're in the middle of service, the music is loud, and and I just leaned over to him I was like bless you. I said I pray all is well with you and I just went on because guess what, tara, that's not for me to carry, I don't have anything to do with that At all.
Speaker 2:We have to be careful not to carry things. Now you're weighed down, I'm not going to carry that. That carry things. Now you're weighed down, I'm not going to carry that. That's not mine. So he's mad, or he was mad or still mad. I don't know because of what was said and how people began to speak. I don't know it just right?
Speaker 1:Don't even try to figure it out with me. Don't try to figure it out.
Speaker 2:No, I was like okay, don't't do it.
Speaker 1:It's called rumination when we ruminate over and over yeah when we think about something over and over and we can't stop. It's called rumination and it takes you in this, this spiral. You literally was spiral out of control. You have to stop it.
Speaker 2:You literally have to yeah, it's, no, it will put you in a pit of despair.
Speaker 1:It will put you in a pit of despair, but what he did, he has to contend with the lord. For that I'm gonna tell you. I was at church one day. This was, I don't know, probably two years I don't know, a couple years ago and somebody didn't speak that I'm like, because I'm like, hey, how you doing, that's me how you doing. And she looked at me and didn't speak.
Speaker 1:Now this is somebody that's kind of you know, popular in the church, whatever, and I'm just like, huh, are you just not going to like? What's wrong with you? So I go to my seatmate, my clock is, I'm like, and even speak to me. Why did my mouth fill with salt? God is my witness. My mouth starts filling with salt.
Speaker 2:I believe you.
Speaker 1:He's telling me no, you cannot even talk about her. You can't even say Take your mouth off my people. He's teaching me a lesson there. You cannot just go talking. You don't even know what's going on with her. I'm sitting up there. She didn't speak to me. I'm telling my friend next to talking. You don't even know what's going on with her. So I'm sitting up there. She didn't speak to me, and I'm telling my friend next to me. She didn't speak. I don't know what's wrong. He stopped me immediately. It was a lesson I learned that day.
Speaker 2:You cannot, because I'm his daughter.
Speaker 1:She's his daughter. I don't know what's going on.
Speaker 2:What kind of news you don't know.
Speaker 1:I going on in her life, I don't need to be going gossipy because she didn't speak. So he taught me right then and there season was taught, so I got that lesson right away.
Speaker 2:So when he did.
Speaker 1:The lord will deal with him, because he doesn't deal with us. So that's a lesson for you guys don't be so quick, because god is watching. So quick he watching and he got me together like this.
Speaker 2:Whatever he was going through, or however it happened with whomever else, it has nothing to do with me. And for him to just, you know, treat me that way. I just and listen. I leaned back in, I said listen, I wish you well, I'm praying, all is well with you and your family. And they were trying to get me to my seat. They were like, well, Pastor Lisa, we're going to seat you up and I'm like I'm ready to get into the worship and I'm like, sorry, that's him, that has nothing to do with me.
Speaker 2:We are not going to carry that Don't carry it.
Speaker 1:But that right there Pastor Lisa is talking, talking about. We have to be that way. What God taught me in that moment, I don't do that anymore. So he taught me you can't do that I'm not pleased with. So don't do that. Mouth filled with thought, you still blessing him and still going about you don't know you don't know what people are going through.
Speaker 2:It's so much stuff going on now. You don't people what people are going through. It's so much stuff going on now. You, you don't people have, will have no idea what I'm facing just day to day. Right, it is God's grace that I can just continue to go and to do, but I know to rest. So you know I'm resting this week and I was like I may rest next week, just so I can be before the Lord. Right, because it just it will be so much. I saw prophet Brandon Lamar. What did he? He said? He asked yep, you see it.
Speaker 1:He asked his mentees, yeah, Lamar Williams, I had to ask my mentees to forgive me for expecting them to grow in knowledge and revelation at the rate I thought they should be. That's good. I was expecting them to understand as I do. I had to ask for forgiveness. That's so good.
Speaker 2:So good. That is so good. That's so good. That's that's man, that's so good. I'm proud of you for that, bud I am. That is maturity, that is wisdom, my good, and that's an example that I'm telling you. That's why he is. He's a lighthouse to many people because the Lord can use you. Oh, my goodness, you understand what he did for them, for them to see that it's the same with my boys.
Speaker 2:My boys have seen people come and go, even in the ministry, and things that have happened. I have to be careful the way I share with my boys. Right, rob has seen people hurt me and he's just like I'm tired of this. Not too long ago, he was just like I don't want people calling you mine anymore. You know they call you mine, they hurt you and it's the same. And I said I can't do it like that, babe, I can't. I was like I can't. I have people in my life that the Lord has connected to me. What they have done and what they've chosen to do, that's on them, that's that's on them to do, that's on them, that's that's on them. And I just went on to the point.
Speaker 2:You know, not too long ago, josh noticed, um, that someone had said and did something and Josh said, oh, so that's what a wolf looks like in sheep clothing. Our youngest son and I was like what. And I looked at him. I was like what, and I looked at him, I was like what. He was like yeah, so that's what a wolf looks like in sheep clothing. Because people think she's so sweet and she's. So he was like mom, they have no idea. And I said, well, and look, I had to take a moment, like let me just. I said, well, listen, people will see. It is not for me to share it, it is not for me to tell them what she has done. So I was trying to you know, like it's not for me to gossip, because that's what you'd be going to gossip, and you start talking about people.
Speaker 1:I have literally keep growing. I have literally keep growing. God is continually growing me with even what you can share as a leader, because everybody I remember Bishop said this before Bishop Cass, he's my Bishop he said everybody can't see behind the curtain Like you can't all, everybody can't be that close because they wouldn't be able to handle it.
Speaker 1:You know, everybody can't see all your trouble, or they went, you know it may cause them to stumble, they may not be able to understand what you go through. You know, because they have this image and perception, I guess, of what it should be like you know, yeah, I like this right here, lamar said I'm not carrying your reality.
Speaker 2:I am not responsible for it.
Speaker 1:I like that so much.
Speaker 2:I love that. Oh my goodness, somebody need to hit that on Facebook, post that, post that y'all. Oh my goodness, I am not responsible for it and we're not. We're not responsible for how people feel and they feel a certain kind of way. I hope, vicki. Vicki, did you get that? You are not responsible, you are not through it all, as the Lord is. He's really teaching us and showing us. Even when it's a struggle, even when it's hard. You all, there is teachable moments. He's teaching us.
Speaker 2:And guess what? Through it all, tara, you began to say, listen, I've learned to suffer well, there's a suffering, that's there, but you will learn to suffer well, through all of it. I said, lord, what is this Like? Back to back, it's just, you know, uh, the warfare and the attacks. And just coming from, and the lord said I'm, I'm getting you to a place, lisa, where you will confront betrayal. My goodness, did I ever? I'm like, oh my goodness, but you got to confront it. Well, it is a way that you confront it. This is a way it's, it's not. You know, you see somebody in walmart and then there's a cleanup in aisle five because you start throwing the soup cans and come on y'all, come on well we got.
Speaker 2:We have to do it the way the lord will have for us to do it. Was there any more questions?
Speaker 1:there are no more questions. But what I'm going to do is highlight you because I want you to give whatever closing remarks the lord has laid on your heart and relating relating to this subject. I really love confront betrayal well, because so many are holding that betrayal yes, and allowing it to you know. Oh, somebody said yes, I got that okay let me go ahead and and remove myself.
Speaker 1:I want to highlight you and I want you to. I'm going to come back, but I just want you to share some closing remarks. So we, I just bless you. This was great. It's just great. You guys enjoyed this. Let Pastor Lisa know you enjoyed her.
Speaker 2:She's going to share some closing remarks.
Speaker 1:And then we'll close out. Amen.
Speaker 2:Amen. I want to put it down earlier in my notes and I want to share it with you. We know the word of the Lord speaks about the armor of God and how to put on the whole armor, the full armor of God. What I want us to do is I want to ask you, not a question, I want to make sure you know, check your armor. Okay, amen, check your armor every day. Check it. You know that helmet of right. Come on, y'all right.
Speaker 2:You got to make sure that helmet which covers your mind, where your mind is such a battlefield, it's such a field where the enemy comes in and he brings all his shenanigans and all that mess comes in, and he brings all his shenanigans and all that mess. We have to be able to be anchored in the word of the Lord and to know listen, not today. He's waiting. By the time we open our eyes every morning, he's mad that God has given us a new day. You understand that right? That's why we need to command our mornings. First thing in the morning, when we open our eyes, hell is mad because God has given us another day, and not only has he given us a new day, but his new grace and his new mercy. So, because he is already mad, the enemy is already plotting and he's scheming and he's trying to bring up thoughts from last week or something that happened last month, or whatever you was dealing with two days ago. He's trying to bring those thoughts. But it is for you to begin to stand in the authority, start speaking who you are before your feet even hit the floor, that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that this is the day that the Lord has made and I have chosen to rejoice and to be glad in it. Come on, began to say that you're victorious, that today is blessed, that every challenge you're going to step in it with wisdom.
Speaker 2:You command your morning and command your day. Listen, check your armor. Check your armor. Make sure that that breastplate is right where it's supposed to be, where your heart is guarded. Come on, ask the Lord. Lord, hold my heart in your hands on today. Get quiet with him, sit at his feet, just like Mary did, because when Jesus began to speak, his words fell on top of Mary because she was in that posture, she was in the right position, right. That's why he had to deal with Martha. She was so busy. But Mary understood. Is your heart postured, where the Lord can begin to speak and pour in to your heart. Come on y'all. Where he began to wipe away and move some of your own, those feelings, that's there. You have to give it, surrender all of it. I wrote also get control of your emotions. No-transcript. I want to step into this freedom. Lord, I thank you for this healing. Not only am I healed, lord, but I'm walking in wholeness. Come on y'all. Isn't that good? I wanted to just share that with us this evening.
Speaker 2:And another thing I wanted to share just what the Lord was speaking about July. June was a month that we were in the middle of the year, but now we're in July. July is the seventh month, which is completion. Right, it is God's perfect number, but I want us to know in July that this is a month for us to start and to finish. To start and to finish. July is also going to be a month, just like June, to make decisions. It's time to make decisions and stick with it. Okay, it is a month of return. The Lord kept speaking that to me. It is a month of return, returning back to your first love, returning back to him so that you can surrender and that you can be in repentance surrender, and that you can be in repentance returning back to what God has for us, and then, in return, he's going to return some things that's been held up that he's going to release to us. It will be a latter rain in July, so I just wanted to release that, amen.
Speaker 1:Hallelujah, Amen, Amen. This is good. Everyone is like this is so good, this is so good. You guys look Welcome to Pastor Lisa and listen. That all cost baby.
Speaker 2:Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1:So I am so grateful for you. I'm grateful for everyone who has watched. I thank you for tuning in. I pray that you tune in again next. Wednesday at 8 pm, and I'm going to ask Pastor Lisa to pray us out. So, everyone, have your hearts postured to hear the Lord, hear this prayer, receive this prayer, and I just pray. Something was broken off you today, that a changed mindset, a new perspective came for you today, you know, and that you're going to forgive again. Ok, amen, pastor Lisa, will you close us out in prayer?
Speaker 2:Yes, thank you so much, tara. Thank you, this was amazing. I'm so proud of you. I am, I'm just, I'm like a proud mama. I am, I'm just, I'm so proud of you. I am, I'm just, I'm like a proud mama. I am, I'm just, I'm so proud of you and I'm just looking at you and the Lord spoke things over you and you were just so obedient and you just stepped right in and because of your obedience listen to me, hell, hell is mad and heaven has to respond like heaven is responding.
Speaker 2:Because of your obedience, I'm thanking the Lord for the provision and for all of the resources. I'm thanking him for the divine connections. I thank him that the prophetic words that has been spoken over you are so alive and is bringing such recompense even now. In the name of Jesus, lord, I thank you even now for the healing of her body. Your body will respond to God's word. In the name of Jesus, it is much for you to do. It is much, tara. You are God's lighthouse. The ships will be lost at sea if your light goes dim. It is the light that is on the inside of you that is drawing the ships into safety. It's drawing the ships into safety and I bless God for that. You can be honest and you can be real and you are letting the Lord teach you and show you, and he trusts you with his people. So if he trusts you with his people, he's going to trust you with his wealth, and that's why you will be a storehouse for the Lord, so that he knows he can trust you to build the kingdom.
Speaker 2:Father, we thank you. We thank you for this time, lord, and for this opportunity. I thank you, o God, for your people on this evening. I pray, o God, that ears were open to hear and hearts were open to receive just what the spirit of the Lord was speaking to us on this evening. I pray, lord, that hearts were softened. I pray, lord, that they've been asking you, lord, hold my heart in your hands. That, lord, they're going deeper in you, that they're going to begin to speak to you more and fast, oh God, and seek your face. That, lord, they're not going to be holding the unforgiveness, all that heaviness, lord, and all that bitterness, oh God, lord, I'm asking you to do surgery even on this evening, that, even on this time tomorrow, lord, they'll begin to speak different and they'll begin to respond.
Speaker 2:Oh God, I thank you for each and every person, every household that is represented even now, and those that will see the replay. Oh God, that they have heard a word that they will understand, that there's some freedom that they can step into, there's some joy and some peace. Oh God, strengthen your people, lord. It's a lot going on, lord, it's a lot of chaos and it's a lot of noise, but, lord, we're gonna lean into you because you are our source and you are our refuge. Oh God, you're, you're our banner, lord, you're, you're our Nisi. Oh God, you're, you are our Rafa, and we love you and we honor you. Bless us indeed, lord, even as we rest on this evening, that we can command our evenings. Lord, we love you and we honor you, and it is in your name, jesus, amen, amen, hallelujah.
Speaker 1:Hallelujah. Thank you Lord, thank you, pastor Lisa.
Speaker 2:We bless you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, lord. Continue to bless you abundantly.
Speaker 2:I receive it. I receive it. So you guys, we are out of here. We love you to bless you abundantly.
Speaker 1:I receive it. I receive it. You guys, we are out of here. We love you, bless.
Speaker 2:God for you, I know, I know it was good. Have a good night everyone. It was good. Have a good night.
Speaker 1:Bye. That's it for today's episode. If this spoke to you, make sure you follow, subscribe, Bye Go. Take my free story validation assessment at herauthenticvoicecom. It'll show you exactly where you're stuck and what God is inviting you to heal next. All right? Is that all right? Okay, I'm proud of you, I'm rooting for you and until next time, remember to live love and be authentic. This is your favorite Shift, your Story coach, Coach Tara, and I'm out.
