When rigid plans miss God’s move, flexibility becomes a spiritual discipline

We explore how rigid plans can make us miss God’s movement and how healing renews the mind. We unpack schemas, especially abandonment, and show how writing—memoir, teaching, and devotional—helps us reclaim our story with spirit-led flexibility.

• schema vs script explained with simple examples
• abandonment patterns in relationships, work, and faith
• renewing the mind with Scripture and flexible faith
• writing as healing: sensory memoir, self‑help, devotional
• practical journaling prompts and reflection questions
• spirit‑led pivots and learning contentment

And if today’s word blessed you, share it with another sister who needs this reminder

Chapters

• 0:00 Faith, Flexibility, and Why It Matters
• 1:41 Schemas vs. Scripts Explained
• 4:42 Abandonment Patterns and Faith Trust
• 9:46 Discern the New Thing God Is Doing
• 12:20 Writing as Healing: Memoir, Teaching, Devotional

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hey hey, it's your favorite shift for story coach, Coach Tara, and you're listening to the Her Authentic Voice podcast. This is where faith meets real life, where shame gets silenced, and where your story becomes your strategy. On today's episode, we're gonna talk about flexibility, healing, and writing your story. Now, let me tell you why this matters. Rigid people miss God's move. Amen. The Holy Spirit can literally shift direction at any moment. But if you're so locked into your own plan, you're not going to catch it. You're gonna miss it. And all of that rigidity, it doesn't necessarily come from being stubborn. It comes from schemas. Schemas are mental frameworks. They're old. They're old mental frameworks that our brains build from pain. It starts when we're young, like so many other things. But here's the good news: you don't have to live stuck in those things. You don't have to live stuck in your schema. Healing rewrites the script for you. And I want to talk about writing. You know, I'm also a writing coach. So writing reclaims your story. So you have the rewriting of the script, you're reclaiming your story, you're owning your story, and you have the Lord who's renewing your mind. Amen. So first I want to talk about schemas. I'm gonna start simple. A schema is a mental framework that your brain builds from past experiences. It's like the lenses that you look through. It's how you interpret life. You interpret through them. So here's an example. If you grew up in like dealing with abandonment, your brain might have built up an abandonment schema. So even as an adult, if someone doesn't text you back right away, your brain is telling you they're leaving me, they are rejecting me, they are treating me some type of way, or if you don't get chosen for something, if you don't get applause, or you know, someone says something about your work, you may feel slighted. You know, the reality is that's not what's really happening. The schema's talking, your womb speaking, but that's not the reality of the situation. So you have a schema and you have a script. A script is more like a pattern of events that you might expect. Like going to the restaurant, we know we're gonna sit down, we're gonna order, you know, we're gonna pray, we're gonna eat, all the things. But see, a schema is when you're going deeper because a schema is now you have a belief system. When you think of what I said earlier about not getting a text back, your belief is they're leaving me. I'm not enough. People are rejecting me. You know, you get these thoughts of the world not being safe, people not being safe, people are liars. You have these absolutes. And those are not necessarily true. You know, in Romans, it speaks of us not being conformed to this world, but being transformed by the renewing of our minds, right? So with healing, it's about replacing the old schemas with God's truth. And that's really what it's about because you don't want to go through life with this fixed mindset. It's not fun, it keeps you boxed in. There's no flexibility there. And that's really what I hope to help you with today. Just to lean in a little bit to be a little bit more flexible in life. You know, if you've dealt with abandonment, and I have, I've dealt with abandonment. So I know how it can show up in life. I know about having fear of someone leaving or either messing something up, self-sabotaging before they can do it. You know, I pull away first. So it can show up as clinging or either self-sabotaging and just dropping people or dropping things. You know, in your faith walk, you can struggle to fully trust God. You know, because if people have always left you, if people have always left you down, don't let it be a parent, don't let it be a father. You may struggle with trusting God fully because you're like, well, if I can't even trust them, I don't know how I'm gonna trust you. I've never seen you. I see them. You know what I mean? Or even in ministry, you may do too much to try to overwork, to try to people please. You may not ask for help. You know, you may expect to be let down. So you're like, I got it, I got it, I got it. It's a lot of different ways it can show up, but it's really about how you're viewing things, the lenses that you're looking through. I just wanted you to think about that. Just be inflexible as you shift into this new season because things have changed. But I don't want your old schemas to be telling you the same story when God is saying, I'm doing a new thing. I'm doing a new thing. Do you discern it? Do you discern this new thing that I'm doing? If this is something you've experienced, or if you deal with this, you can start writing, you can start journaling about it. And when you're journaling and writing, you need to use sensory details. You need to show and not just tell. So let me give you an example of a memoir style. So with memoirs, you're telling a part of your story, you're not telling every single thing, but based on whatever your overall message is, you're going to tell that story that explains or fulfills whatever the message is. For example, this is sensory. So peep. The sound of the front door slamming still rattles me. I counted every step after, waiting to hear it open again. It never did. Ooh, that's deep. Is that deep? But it's sensory. The sound of the front door slamming and it still rattles me. I counted every step after. So now in your mind's eye, as you're you're reading, you can envision someone walking away, right? Counting the steps after, waiting to hear it open again, but it never did. So you're waiting. You're feeling like, wow, they're not gonna come back. And if you wanted to do like a teaching style or write like a how-to or self-help book, you'll explain the pattern and how it plays out in life. Kind of what I'm doing now, with explaining schemas and explaining fixed mindsets and things like that. And if you're talking about abandonment, which I've been talking about with this episode, an example of a teaching style or a self-help style that you can use, you can say something like, if you constantly fear your spouse will leave, you may be carrying an abandonment schema. It tells you you're unworthy of permanence. You're unworthy of someone staying. But God says he will never leave you. So that's a way that you can teach that. You can show them if there's this constant fear that you may be carrying this type of schema. Another way is if you're doing a devotional. And with the devotional, you want to pair a scripture, you want to share reflection, you want to do an application, a personal antidote, things like that. You want to describe a lonely moment or a place that speaks to that abandonment. You have a scripture. For example, in Hebrews, it speaks about I will never leave thee nor forsake thee. You can expound on that. You can reflect on what voices of abandonment do I still hear? What are the echoes of abandonment? You know what I mean? And then about releasing them. Releasing them. So those painful places, even abandonment, they can be written in a way that sets someone else free. Your story, remember? That's that blueprint. You've been through it. So you can share it. So you can write a memoir, you can write a self-help book, you can write a devotional. Or if you're not interested in writing and publishing a book, just journal. Journal, but keep it honest. Be honest about what's going on. Be honest about the patterns you see in your life and also the schemas. Because remember, you have patterns. We talked about the restaurant, but you have the schemas, which is the belief system. What is stuck in you, that this is now what you believe, that needs to be uprooted and shifted. Healing rewires your brain so you stop reacting out of fear and you start responding out of faith. Amen. Amen, right? Paul talks about being content in Philippians chapter 4. He speaks about learning to be content in all situations and that he can do all things through Christ who strengthens him. When he says that, he means I can be content in all situations because the Lord Jesus strengthens me to do so. And that's the same for you. That's allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us. It's like spirit-led flexibility, you know. So when the Holy Spirit says pivot, you say yes. When God says right, you say yes. When he says go this way, you say yes. You continue to flow with him, go with him, grow with him. Amen. Is that all right? So listen, you know, I got some questions, and I want you to ask yourself, where am I stuck in a fixed mindset? Where am I demanding that life must look one way? Think about that. What schema might be shaping how I see my relationships? How I see my work or my career, my faith. Think about it. Ask yourself these questions. And then ask yourself: how can I use writing or journaling to name it, to confront it and to shift it into God's truth. Stop letting old schemas tell your story. Okay, start to flow in the spirit, bend with the spirit, move with the spirit, not with your trauma, not with the stories, the old stories you keep telling yourself, not with the wounded lenses that is distorting life for you. That's what I want. I want you to decide to change the narrative. Okay? Listen, God is always moving and he's speaking, so don't stay stuck. Learn to flow with him. Renew your mind. He is shaping something in you. You are becoming. So continue to say yes. But you're gonna have to confront those thoughts, you're gonna have to confront your fears, you're gonna have to confront your ways. Okay? Is that alright? And if today's word blessed you, share it with another sister who needs this reminder. And remember, your story, yours, you who are listening to me right now, your story is the blueprint for someone else's breakthrough. Set it free. Now, whether you set it free with journaling and testifying, however, writing a book, but set it free. This has been Coach Tara, your favorite shift your story coach. And until next time, remember to live, love, and be authentic.