What If No One’s Coming To Save You?

What if no one’s coming to save you—and that’s the best news you’ll hear all week? Coach Tara opens the door on a season of living “half moved in” after separation and divorce, revealing how hope tethered to outcomes kept her stuck while hope in God set her free. Through honest mirror work, therapy, and small acts of ownership—like hanging curtains and reclaiming space—she discovers that faith matures when we stop outsourcing our future and start walking with God in the present.

We explore the quiet roots of stuckness: procrastination masking fear, perfectionism masking control, and people pleasing masking an addiction to approval. Tara names the learned helplessness that convinces us effort doesn’t matter, then offers a better way—reclaiming agency and partnering with God. She shares tender insights from dating again, recognizing uneven healing, and receiving restoration without reconciliation. Along the way, we ask bracing questions about rescue thinking, including a challenge to “occupy until He comes” rather than sitting back for an easy escape.

Anchored in John 5, the episode reframes healing as participatory: Get up, take up your bed and walk. Grace meets motion. If you’ve been praying without planning, planning without producing, or waiting for closure that may never arrive, this conversation invites you to take the next faithful step. Build the life you’ve prayed for. Choose responsibility over rescue. Let God meet you on the move.

If this stirred something in you, share it with a friend who’s been waiting too long, leave a review so more women can find this podcast, and hit follow to catch what’s next. Want to fuel these bold, Spirit-led conversations? Support the show for as little as $3 a month—every seed matters.

Chapters

• 0:00 Wake-Up Question: No One’s Coming
• 2:30 Living Half Moved In After Separation
• 6:20 Hope In God vs. Outcomes
• 10:30 Mirror Work And Mutual Wounds
• 15:30 Divorce, Grief, And Unanswered Whys
• 20:00 Dating Again And Uneven Healing
• 24:00 Choosing Peace And A New Normal
• 28:00 Half Presence, Procrastination, And Fear

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Hey hey, it's your favorite shift for story coach, Coach Tara, and you're listening to the Her Authentic Voice podcast. This is where faith meets real life, where shame gets silenced, and where your story becomes your strategy. Today's episode might stretch you a little bit, but I promise it's for your good. It's called, What if no one's coming to save you? And before you say, sorry that sounds harsh, I just want you to sit with it. Because it's not a hopeless question, even though it sounds like it. It's more of a wake-up call. At least that's how I intended to be. Because I realized one day that I was living half moved in. I've been in my home about three years, but I've been living half moved in. Not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too. I moved into this space after my separation. It was like November of 2022. And I didn't unpack everything. I didn't hang any pictures. I didn't decorate. Because somewhere deep down, I thought maybe I wouldn't be here too long. I would tell myself, I'll get around to this later, you know, I'll do that later. But the truth was, I was still hoping that my ex-husband would come back, that he would come back and save me, bring me home again, like bring me back to our marital home and get me from this place of having to go at life alone and and do life without him. And it was just new. Everything was new. Like, who am I now? You know, it was it was a lot going on, you know. Like my daughter would say, it's real stuff going on. Two years passed before I started decorating, and I finally hung photos up after the divorce. And you know what's wild? We've actually tried dating a few times since then. And it was only a few weeks ago that I started truly digging in, revamping my home. Like I'm about to purchase it now because I finally feel settled in my quote unquote new normal. I'm hanging curtains, revamping furniture. And you may ask, What's our did you give up hope? Well, yeah, I did. But I didn't give up hope in God. I gave up hope and reconciliation the way I wanted it. Because one thing I do know is my hope in God will never be put to shame. But my hope and outcomes will and did. Amen. My hope and outcomes was put to shame, but God is still faithful. And that part of my story used to break me when I thought about it, because I thought obedience meant everything would be restored exactly how I wanted it. But God has something else in mind. See, he made it clear to me in that latter part of 2022 that he was gonna separate us. I assumed it would be temporary, I assumed it was for healing, I assumed it would end in reconciliation. Now, two things could be true. It was for healing, it was. So what's the other part that's true? I will say it was for restoration and healing. The reconciliation part is yet to be seen. I don't know. But what actually broke me and put me into a deep depression is okay, I was the one who stepped away. I left the house, I walked away from my marriage, thus breaking that covenant agreement by stepping away. I felt it was necessary because I was mentally in fight or flight, I was emotionally dysregulated, things were bad, I didn't know what to do, but I don't like how I left, and I realized I was reacting out of pain instead of wisdom. And I don't even know if it was God's timing or my timing, you know, because although he did say that, I kind of just moved, you know. And it's not because he didn't speak, like I said, he said it. But I do realize in hindsight that I let my emotions lead instead of the Holy Spirit, and I paid for that decision. And just like he paid for the decision of divorcing me, we've both been put through the ringer. God has humbled us both, you know. But here's the truth: God still made ways for me and my children, he worked it out for good. Like it says in Romans 8.28, all things work together for good to those who love the Lord and who was called according to his purposes, who is the called. I am the call. And he loves me, and things work together for good. I can't tell you how many times he has covered me and my daughters, how many times he has made a way out of no way, how many times that he allowed things to happen to mature us and make us good stewards. You know, one thing he did was he put a mirror up showing me me. You know, and that isn't easy, but you have to look at yourself. I had to look at myself and just my part. There was no more pointing fingers and wanting to be validated. Hear me out, because this is what he did. That's the pain speaking, that's the anger speaking, that's frustration speaking when you're constantly pointing outside of you. But I started looking within me. My part. What did I do? What did I say? How did I move? You know, and the Lord, yes, he also gave me insight into my ex-husband. We were two unhealed people, destroying each other, not communicating properly, although loving each other, but mentally, emotionally, and psychologically, I was depleted, and I'm sure he was too. But at that point, I wasn't just hurt, I was done. And even though I know I needed to go, I didn't realize what it would cost me to obey God and still lose the marriage. So that was the like, wait, wait, wait, hold on, Lord. Hold on. So that part broke me. And I I just really did not understand. I'm like, Lord, I gave my whole life to you. I literally do whatever you asked me to do. And he never came after me. He didn't apologize for any of his behavior, he didn't say, Let's fix this, he didn't say I miss you, he didn't say what can I do, or even what can we do? None of that. So I felt very rejected. I felt just tore up. In hindsight, I realized he also felt rejected. He also felt abandoned. It made him feel like he couldn't trust me. What if I leave him again? You know, it was a lot of pain. When he filed for divorce after two years of separation, it shattered me. I mean, we had built 16 years together, and even through all the chaos, I still believe we were worth fighting for. I mean, divorce was so final. I, yeah, I didn't want that. And I even set it up until the day, and he still did it. He still went ahead with it. So his actions told me that he was done, and I didn't know how to grieve what God allowed, but didn't explain. So God allowed it, but he didn't explain why. And I didn't know how to to grieve that or reconcile that or what to do with that. I didn't even know how to feel about God. I didn't understand the why behind it. But I've said before to you, you don't have to understand why to obey, you know, and one thing I do understand is that nothing can happen to us without the Lord's knowledge and permission. And I've walked with him long enough to know that he is faithful. He does have a reason for what he allows in our lives, even if we don't get it. But he did start showing me, you know, that mirror. He humbled me, he set me apart, and he healed me. And eventually we did start dating again, and I saw a change in him. He's in therapy now, and and I love that so much for him. But I also saw how much I had changed. I had outpaced him in healing. I have been in therapy two years longer than he has, and he still had bitterness and anger in places that I don't have anymore. Right now I have understanding, you know. I was ready to rebuild, but he wasn't. I was hoping for reconciliation and restoration, but he was still unsure. But what God did allow for us was restoration, not reconciliation. So we did get that part. We did get to have great conversations, true, honest, heartfelt ones. We did, you know, have some hard conversations, and the anger's gone on both sides. It's uh not a friendship, but it's something. It's something that is peaceful, you know. So I thank God for that. And I remember not too long ago, he had texted and then I called him back. But before I called, I had asked the Holy Spirit, what should my posture be? You know, I don't know, because this is our I don't know how many times of trying to see what we're gonna do with us. And Holy Spirit said, be kind. And he told me to stand still and hold my ground because he wasn't ready. And although I appreciated those words because I had been waiting to hear something directly for some time now, but it's still like was like, oh man, okay, amen. But it did settle something in me. Like, this is what obedience looks like. It's like not holding on to him, my ex for an outcome, but standing my ground and to what the Lord said, so not clinging to what I want, but honoring what God revealed to me. So when he does that, it behooves me to listen, right? So now it's been about three years since the separation, about 15 months post-divorce, and a few months since dating. And I can say this with peace and surety. I don't know how the story ends. I don't. But I do know that I'm a better woman because of what I've walked through. I'm a better mother, I'm a better friend, I'm a better daughter, I'm a better person. And what I'm not doing is waiting to be chosen at all. I'm literally leaning into my new normal now. I'm leaning. Even when it's unclear, even when I feel lonely, even when sometimes I, you know, get to questioning why, because grieving is a process, and I am grieving the 16 years. But think about this, and this is how I'm looking at it. Sometimes letting go isn't giving up, right? It's giving God room to work without you being in the way. Now, you may not have this same issue, but I thought I would share a little of my story with you, and you can connect it to whatever it is you know you have gone on. What if no one's coming to save you? Because my exit can come and save me out of this situation. I had to lean into this home and say, okay, you're gonna be here. This is your new normal, you know. So, yeah, I've started hanging curtains. You know, I'm about to buy this place. What do you need to do? Who are you waiting on? What are you waiting on? Maybe you're living this same way. You're you're half present in your purpose, you're being half obedient to what God said, you're half invested in the life that you prayed for, you're half invested, you're like in it, because I prayed for freedom and peace of mind and all the things I I wanted, but there are some other things I thought I wanted and did it when I got it. Does that make sense? Yeah. You may be waiting for closure that may never come. You may be waiting for an apology you may never get. You know, and what if you're praying, but you're not planning nothing. I was praying, but I still wasn't settling into this place he brought me to, that he opened the door for me to be in, because I didn't have to be here. It's a nice home. I didn't have to have this. But the Lord made a way. So are you planning it but not producing or just praying and not moving? You know, it looks like procrastination. It looks like that. You think, oh man, I never get anything done. I keep putting it off. But underneath procrastination is fear. That is the spirit that is fueling procrastination. Fear. I was afraid. You know, I'm putting off decorating, but underneath, I'm like, what does this life look like? What happens now? Like for real, for real. You know? Fear that I would have to build alone, fear that I'll be disappointed again. Do you feel that way? Have you felt that way? Can you relate to that? A fear of building alone, fear of being disappointed again. What about perfectionism? When you have to have everything so perfect, but underneath perfectionism is control. You literally just want to have control, you want every variable certain before you move, and that is not realistic, okay? And it can look like people pleasing, and I'm talking about waiting, I'm still talking about waiting, but waiting can become avoidance. So procrastination, underneath that's fear. I talked about perfectionism, but underneath that's control. But what about people pleasing? And what underneath people pleasing is an addiction to approval, like needing people to approve you, to validate you, affirm you, because it feels safe that way. And I've been all these places, like I only talk about what I know. So please know that I know what it's like to feel all of these things and be these ways. But when you get honest, you realize it's not about waiting on God. You say it, I'm waiting on God, I don't know what's about to happen. So I'm just waiting on God, I'm waiting on God. But really, you're avoiding responsibility because if you start, you might fail, right? What's gonna happen? If I try this, I might be rejected again. You know, if I move out, I can't hide anymore. People can see, and I am subject to their criticism and their applause. Both are dangerous if not filtered correctly and viewed correctly, right? Amen. So I just want you to reflect. Even though you're hearing my story, reflect on your own. Because when we feel powerless, our brains automatically look for external rescue. And behavior science is called learn helplessness. It's a psychological pattern that develops when life conditions you to believe that effort doesn't matter. You know, I don't really have to do a whole lot. It's like even when that door is open, you just stay in the cage. It's like having an animal. He's free. He's been in a cage so long, but the door is open and he's still sitting in the cage. Like, dude, exit the cage. You're free. But freedom doesn't always feel safe. That cage, even though it's bondage, can sometimes feel, and the operative word is feel, can feel safe. Freedom is looking scary now. So that's why you haven't started the business or written the book or or made the move because deep down you believe it won't change a thing. You don't think it's gonna change anything. That's why you're not doing anything. Learn helplessness. Life conditioned you to believe that your effort doesn't matter, but it does matter. It does matter, and that shift, I talk about shifting your story. That shift happens when you reclaim agency, when you partner with God instead of waiting for someone else to move first. Amen. That's where I had to face something I didn't want to admit. Sometimes we're not waiting on God. We're literally hiding behind our fear. We're hiding behind people pleasing, we're hiding behind procrastination. We're hiding to avoid responsibility, we're hiding because we don't know the outcome and we don't have any control and we want control. We're hiding. Now let's go a little deeper. Don't be alarmed, but brace yourself, okay? I don't know where you stand with this. I don't know if you a premier post-trip, meaning you think the Lord is gonna come before the tribulation and gather his people, and we don't have to experience it, or he's gonna come mid-tribulation, that two and a half, three-year mark, and grab his people, and we won't be here through the whole thing, or he's gonna come after the tribulation is passed and gather his people. Wherever you stand with this, I really want to challenge you because I do believe in critical thinking, I do believe in asking hard questions and considering other perspectives. What if there was no pre-trib rapture? I just want to do a pre-trib because people to me, and I'm not saying there is or isn't, okay, hear what I'm saying before you go somewhere. What if there wasn't a pre-trib rapture? That's my question. How might you live? Okay, how might you live? And I was gonna say because I know some people who are so settled into that that they're not really present. You know, it's like, well, God's gonna come. I don't really have to do anything, I don't really have to prepare because he's just gonna come save me in the in the rapture. Now I'm not saying it won't happen. I'm saying, what if it doesn't unfold the way we expect with that doctrine? What if it doesn't? Because some of us are playing it all too safe, too, too safe in this world. We're assuming that the Lord is about to just pluck us out before anything gets too hard. So we're standing still instead of advancing the kingdom. We're not occupying until he comes. We don't know when he comes. Should the Lord tarry? Occupy until he comes. What should you be doing? Not just sitting in your corner, like, okay, I'm just waiting to be rep. No. We're in the world, but we're not of the world, but we still have purpose here. We're light and we're sought here. We're called to different areas here, be it the marketplace, be it inside the church walls, wherever he's calling you, education, financial sector, politics, wherever he's calling you, in your home as a mother, an aunt, a spiritual mom, Bible teacher, wherever he's calling you in the corporate world as or entrepreneur, occupy until he arrives. We don't know the day or the hour, but live your life, live it for him, be light and salt in this world, advance the kingdom of God because wherever you go, wherever your feet tread upon, is yours. So I'm not here debating prophecy. That's not my point. I'm here to provoke your faith. I'm here to get you to think about how I might live if that doesn't happen the way I expect. You know, if there wasn't a quick escape, if you literally had to stay and live through what's coming, would your faith look different? Would your obedience look different? Would you still pursue purpose with the same urgency? Would you? That's what I'm here to do. I want you to think about that. We're already seeing harsh things happening in the world. There will be more because we are in the end time, so we will see more. But if he does not come the way you expect, what are you gonna do differently? Even outside of end time talk, I'm gonna put that put that down. What do you want for your life? What are you building right now that will stand when when comfort's not even an option anymore? Think about it. When you have faith that is constantly looking for rescue, for someone to rescue or someone to fix it, that type of faith rarely matures into a responsible believer. It doesn't mature into responsibility, looking for rescue, because a lot of times our faith looks forsaken. And you got to walk this thing out. And a lot of times you're not being saved out of anything, you're going through and growing through, you're getting to that other side, and then that wisdom comes from it. That willingness and ability to, I don't even want to say willingness, I'm gonna say the ability to endure because we're not always willing to, but God graces us to. And it reads, When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, Do you want to be healed? The sick man answered him, Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going, another steps down before me. Jesus said to him, Get up, take up your bed and walk. And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked. Now that sounds simple, right? But that's a loaded question. Do you want to be healed? Jesus could have, but he didn't just heal him automatically. He asked that man to participate in his own healing. He said, Get up, take up your bed and walk. That required him to do something, it required motion, movement. It didn't happen in his waiting. He sat there and he waited and he waited and he waited. And nothing happened. If you go to verse 5, it says, one man was there who had been an invalid for 38 years. This is the man in question. 38 years. So healing didn't happen in the waiting, it happened in the walking. So what are you waiting on? You waiting on some type of movement that's gonna just pop down from heaven and grab your hand. No, this requires you, your motion, your movement, your agency. You keep asking God to show up, and he's saying, stand up. You stand up, you move, because he's providing the grace, but you gotta walk in that grace. We ask him to bless our hands, but we don't give him no work to bless. We ask him to direct our steps and we don't move anywhere. So ask yourself, what if this is the rescue for you? What if this message, this moment right now, my voice, this conviction, it's a lifeline for you? What if it's a wake-up call for you? I've talked to you before about the call and response. God doesn't force healing on us, but he does facilitate it. He does create moments like this one that provoke you to reflect and to respond. Stop asking for change and ignoring what he puts in front of you to provoke that change. Okay, amen. God opens doors for us, but are you willing to walk through the open door? That man laid there for 38 years. Nothing happened, just waiting. What do you want to happen? What are you willing to do? What steps are you going to take? You're not powerless. What are you gonna do? You're being invited to move right now. What are you gonna do? I'm gonna ask you one more time. What if no one's coming to save you? What if you are the answer to your own prayer? What if God's already given you everything you need to move and He's just waiting on you to pick up your mat and walk? What if? All right, I'm gonna leave you with that. And if this episode stirs something in you, I really hope that you don't let it stop there. I I hope that you share it with someone who's been waiting too long, someone who's waiting on something to happen, but they need to move. Leave a review for me. Leave a review so more women can find this podcast. And hit subscribe so you don't miss what's next. And listen, if these conversations are helping you heal and move forward, will you consider supporting my show? You can support me for as little as$3 a month, and you can help me keep bringing you these bold. Conversations, these bold messages, these spirit-led messages. Every seed matters. And your participation means a lot to me. And it does help me fuel this mission that the Lord has me on. All the links will be in the show notes. And I am so grateful that you have decided to spend this time with me. And until next time, remember live, love, and be authentic.